Babies!!! I've been contemplating doing a post on the topic of babies and having a family for some time now, and I just decided, "why not?" Let me say RIGHT AWAY BEFORE YOU GET ANY FURTHER that I am not pregnant or trying to get pregnant right now. No decisions have been made about babies in the Bates house. Let's talk pressure: It comes from so many directions, from family to colleagues, friends, strangers... When people find out that Husband and I will have been married for four years this October, sometimes the immediate reaction I get is, "Where's the kid?" When people find out that I'll be 28 soon (yikes!), sometimes the immediate reaction is, "Where's the kid?" When people find out that Husband is older than me, sometimes the immediate reaction is, "Where's the kid?" Well, the kid isn't here. We live very care free lives, considering how much we both work (Husband especially). We travel frequently, eat out very often, play golf, work out... We're selfish in that we love our time and having the ability to not be accountable for a little one. Not that there is one thing wrong with kids. I get so happy when I hear about a friend being pregnant, and I lovelovelove all my friends' precious babies. I love seeing pictures of them on Facebook or having dinner with them. I love babies! I love kids!
But I see the pictures, and I'm obsessed with baby and pregnancy blogs and birth stories (kind of weird, yes), and I still don't think I'm quite ready. Everyone says that you're never ready completely, whether you're trying and have millions stashed away in the bank, or it's a surprise... I've never heard anyone say that they were totally ready. I've heard that "it's time" quite a bit, but when is it really time? I've still got seven years where I'm in the "safe zone," but part of me (at times) thinks that now is the time. I really want my parents to have a close relationship with any kids I may pop out. I don't want to be an older mom, and I want more than one kid if we do the kid thing, so those are all heavily weighing on this decision. But I am selfish. I can't say that enough. And I would obviously have to give up a lot. I think I really wouldn't mind, but until you're in the situation, and that's your life, it's hard to fathom. Having kids changes everything. That is one constant I've heard from everyone. And for the vast majority, it's all good changes. Challenges and sacrifices, but I hear it's worth it. But, again I say, until you are in the situation where you are a parent, you just don't truly get it. How can you? How could anyone expect you to? But a lot of things change life, and we adapt to life with those changes, and I think this is one of those things that people adapt to.
And, really, although they may be challenging 99.9% of the time in some cases, I've never heard anyone say that they'd like to return their baby, so the benefits have to outweigh the struggles. ...unless people just don't want to sound terrible by saying that they seriously want to return their kid, which could really be the case in some situations. ;)
Just thoughts! :) We will see how it all plays out!
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