50 Shades of Grey

WARNING:  This book is NOT for the sheltered, naive type.  Neither is this review.  You've been warned! ;)

Well, I finished 50 Shades last night, and... I'm really not sure what I think.  I was very critical of it in the beginning.  Probably too much so.  I will try to not give too much of the book away, but still give my thoughts and a good idea of what it's about.  We will start with what it's about.  Ana, the main character, is a very naive college grad, entering the post college real world.  She's never had a boyfriend, she's a virgin and lacks so much knowledge about life in general.  I don't understand how she's so sheltered, but she is, and that is a large and very important part of the story.  Well, of course, she meets the exact opposite of everything she is in Christian Grey.  He is over the top.  Everything that is not naive.  He's definitely got some skeletons in his closet... His very scary closet is actually a referred to as the Red Room of Pain.  Yep, this book goes into some pretty heavy BDSM.  It is very uncomfortable to read at times. 

So, he decides that he wants her to be his next "conquest."  The book is basically about their relationship, her growth, them trying to make it work.  So from the surface, this book comes across as a trashy sex novel, but now that I'm done with it, I'm reading in between the lines.  And I'm glad I am because now I see that this book can be so much more than I initially gave it credit for.  It's really about a young, inexperienced girl who gets involved in her first relationship.  Not only would that be hard enough for a girl just graduating college and trying to get a job and moving to a new city, but her first relationship happens to be with a very disturbed man, who has serious control issues.  It's quite sad, actually.  This book is about two very different people who clearly have deep feeling for each other, but have a real tough time meeting in the middle.  It's all about trying to find compromise.  She wants certain things, and he wants certain things.  He demands things that she's uncomfortable with, but she cares so much for him, she compromises what she is comfortable with for him.  I've already given too much away, but I'll end with this: can they make it work? should she accept the relationship on his terms if he tries to redefine his terms as best he can? would that be enough? I mean, imagine being this girl.  Most of us had our "first loves" when we were much younger...  Holding hands and such...  Crushes...  Most of us had our hearts broken in middle school, when, really, things were simple.  They didn't seem simple, but they were (Oh, the days).  But she didn't have that; this is her first love, and it is anything BUT simple.

It's a three part series, so I'm sure I'll read the other two books eventually, but I need to read something MUCH less risque first.  Gotta get my head out of the gutter, per se...  I can only take so many (graphic) scenes of intimacy.  Not really my normal read (at all).  I am intrigued, and want to know how it ends with these two...  Just need a break.

So, this book really got me thinking about relationships in general.  Why things work, why things don't work, how we make things work, what we give up...  Relationships take work.  A lot of work.  There has to be compromise, but the compromise shouldn't be a chore.  It should be something that you do with a smile.  So, if you find that special person (like I did :), and they two of you are able to compromise were necessary and communicate (which is a whole other post) effectively, you've got a really good basis on which to build a healthy and successful relationship.  Communication is hard.  I'm not a very good communicator, but I've worked on it, and it's really helped in ALL of my relationships.  But, like I said, that's another post for another day. 

If you do choose to read this book, try to do so with an open mind.  Try to read between the lines and see what you can take away from it about relationships and people in general.  Don't get caught up in the sex...  If you do, you'll miss the character development, along with the positive messages that are sort of hidden throughout the book.  If you have read the book, please share your thoughts.

Thanks!