Mommyhood

As you may know, I've gone back and forth about a million times about whether or not babies are in the cards for Husband and me.  If they are, when?  When is it too late?  Is it ever too late?  Is there ever a right time?  So many questions...  But it seems that lately, I've just been bombarded with kids.  Friends having kids, meeting new people with kids, spending time with family and friends who have kids...  The list just goes on and on, and the common factor that comes to mind in so many of my recent encounters would be kids.  I'm almost 28, and thought by now that I'd have at least one child, possibly two, but that's not the case.  I don't feel ready, but like I said, are you ever really ready?

I spent Sunday with my friend and her two little boys (5 and almost 4).  I love these little ones to death! I really do, but they were a handful.  I guess I spent about 6 hours with them while their dad and Husband played golf.  Their mom is a great friend of mine.  She's probably the most patient and understanding person I know!  She stays home with them everyday, and she is just so loving.  Even when she's punishing them, you can tell it hurts her more than it hurts them. 

But back to my point, this weekend gave me a new insight into what being a mom can entail.  And I just don't know if I'm ready for that!  I really had no idea how much of an actual job it is to raise kids.  Yes, it is more than a full time job.  A full time job means you work 40 hours a week.  Her work never stops.  I admire all of my mommy and daddy friends, and I can't say that I have what it takes to do what they do.  I've heard it all changes when they are yours, but from the outside looking in, parenting seems like a pretty much impossible task.  Being a parent was always part of my life plan, and I'm not saying that that's changed, but I see it as a completely different thing now.  Kids are blessings, but they do change the dynamics of your marriage and every other aspect of your life without a doubt.  Husband and I wouldn't get nearly as many trips, we wouldn't be able to go out nearly as much...  Basically, we couldn't be as selfish as we are now.  That's just the truth of it.  Are we okay with that?  What would our relationship be like? 

*Sigh* Big decisions!!  BIG decisions!